Unrequited
by Laura Ashes
Summary: Remus had never felt worthy of love until he met Tonks but he had been in love once, before her. He would never forget his first love and the seven years of contemplation and debates he had with himself. Drabble


House; Hufflepuff

Type; Drabble

Prompt; Remus/Lily

Word Count; 896

Remus Lupin admired Lily Evans from the moment they met in first year. She was fiercely loyal, incredibly smart and of course you couldn't miss her fiery hair. Remus was an awkward child, shy and always hidden behind a book. If it wasn't for his friends Remus feared he wouldn't have any social interaction at all. To most people he was invisible, the quiet one who the troublesome first years occasionally hung out with, but Lily always saw him. She would nod her head and smile when they passed each other in the hall, she would sit at his table in the library and they would sit in silence encompassed by their books occasionally sharing notes on class. She saw him though, she saw him and didn't mind.

It turned out that Lily Evans had a bit of a mean streak, something that came as a bit of a shock to Remus although he supposed it was reasonable, there was only so much annoyance one small girl could take. In their second year Remus Lupin was very proud to say that he had not one but three best friends, unfortunately it was one of these friends who decided to take quite a shine to Lily although he did not know how to express it. Remus had wanted to say something to James, to stop him from bothering her as she had stopped acknowledging him in the hallways and the classroom, anytime he was with his friends. He thought if he said something it would maybe ease her anger and he could be more of a friend to her. Instead he chose to simply enjoy their quiet time in the library together.

As third year rolled around Remus was able to spend more time with Lily as they both became prefects for gryffindor. He found himself becoming more fascinated by this bubbly girl, they could spend hours talking and occasionally get so carried away in conversation that they would forget about their work momentarily. He found this Lily to be very different to the one he had seen throughout second year. She wasn't red in the face with anger, stumbling over her words as she tried to get out some witty retort to his friend James. But Remus was quite happy to know that Lily was happy and bubbly despite James.

On the train ride to Hogwarts Remus was ready to take on his fourth year with vigour, excited to be away from home and back with his friends again. The last thing he expected was to start experiencing a tightening in his chest and a warm fluttery feeling pooling in the depths of his stomach. All because of a fiery haired girl who had transformed over the summer and was no longer a girl. Instead his smart, feisty and kind friend had blossomed into a beautiful young woman who made him incredibly nervous. He found himself blushing when she poked fun at him, getting stressed about going to their usual hangout to study and he did everything he could to ignore it after all he was what he was. How could anyone be more than friends with a wolf.

But of course Remus should never have underestimated Lily Evans for in the spring of their fifth year Remus found himself cornered in a classroom by a very angry Lily. To his shock she didn't care that he was a werewolf, she cared that he'd lied to her. Of course she knew that the rest of the marauders were animagus and how could he let them be so stupid and reckless? Remus was no longer listening to her incessant babbling, he couldn't believe that yet again he had been accepted, just like that and he hugged her. Scooped her up in a big wolfy warm hug and she went silent.

"I love you Lily"

"I love you too Remus"

However, Remus knew she hadn't understood, not truly because he was just her friend, her study partner and he would never be anything more to this feisty, bubbly and caring woman that was currently wrapped in his arms.

Sixth year had left Remus in an emotional turmoil over Lily, she knew. Even more that that, she knew and accepted him for it anyway. She was still friends with him despite it. Of course this revelation left him with a problem, did he tell Lily he liked her as more than a friend? Of course there was James' infatuation but Remus was sure that this would die out and amount to nothing more but his friendships were the most treasured things he had. So in faith of his friendship mixed with his fear of rejection he waited. Maybe in seventh year. Maybe they would both become heads...

Remus never got the chance to tell her, he knew it would always be the best and worst thing he'd ever done. James and Lily found their way to each other and Remus couldn't be happier for the couple for who they would eventually create, for their sad ending but incredible legacy. However he could never help but wonder what would have happened if he had got the courage to tell her in sixth year, it was the biggest regret of his time at Hogwarts, he had so many chances and he was left pining for a girl he could never have.


End file.
